Here and now, waist-deep in middle age, I spend considerably more time reflecting on my choices, my foibles, those soaring and grounding moments, than when I wore a younger man's clothes. I suspect the same is true for most of us. No pursuit of perfection (not possible), no indulgent self-moralizing (who'd buy it anyway), no historical rewrites (bummer). It's just me and an unsentimental, unforgiving mirror and sober reflections from life so far. I am, as they say, as God made me, and my family shaped, or warped me. Each choice I make, every day, is affirmation of my best self, or worst. These choices are mine to command, try as I might to abdicate; the ramifications of my choices are gifted to many, like it or not. Echoes of conscience demand that I make ever better choices. Michele and I ask the same of our sons. I ask the same of my colleagues. We ask the same of your children.
Emerson, in The Conduct of Life (1860), describes this phenomena: "Every man takes care that his neighbor shall not cheat him. But a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbor. Then all goes well. He has changed his market-cart into a chariot of the sun. What a day dawns...to prefer, as a better investment, being to doing; being to seeming; logic to rhythm and to display; the year to the day; the life to the year; character to performance; — and have come to know, that justice will be done us; and, if our genius is slow, the term will be long". A simpler formulation of the same broad sentiment is discovered in Rotary International's Four Way Test of the things we think, say, or do:
Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
Imagine verifying your daily thoughts, words, and actions by means of this test? How might its application transform your relationships, not in some cheesy self-help way, but in a profound and meaningful sense? With your significant other? With your children? With your co-workers? Imagine if we raise our children to apply this same test to their thoughts, words, and actions? How might this light a new day for Puerto Rico?
A derivative thought: what if we assume the best in others, rather than the worst? What if rather than jumping to conclusions, or buying into and perpetuating gossip and partial truths, we seek for ourselves reasoned explanations? What if rather than rushing to judgment, we seek clarification; seek to understand a problem or concern from multiple vantages? The International Baccalaureate calls this International Mindedness. International Mindedness allows us to deeply disagree about our fundamental values and personal truths, and still honor our shared humanity. The Learner Profile insinuates the same through powerful habits of mind and spirit: care for others, principled action, self-reflection, open-mindedness. It matters not our success, our power, our position, or bona fides, if we fail to live up to our better angels. It matters not if we fail to educate the whole child.
See you around campus.