The first century B.C.E Roman poet and philosopher Publius Ovidius Naso, known in the West as Ovid, penned, "Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all." I find this a very interesting thought, because it reaffirms our control of our own mindset, and how we are determined to see the world, regardless of the hand we are dealt. We choose to be happy or sad, to fret or accept, to pine or release, to rage or forgive.
Happiness is an interesting word. It is derived from the very old word Hap, which refers to chance...think "haphazard". Most of the original European derivatives of the word "happy" translate as "fortunate" with the exception of the Welsh equivalent, which means "wise". If we define happiness as a thing of chance, over which we have little influence, then we find ourselves subject to forces beyond our control, which may be the case. If, however, we define happiness as being wise, the word elicits a very different meaning and effect, and becomes a state of mind and a form of understanding. Still, happiness is an individual determination in either definition.
The Dalai Lama tells us that "…genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others’ happiness.” This view represents a more uniquely Asian and collectivist view of happiness, the idea that one cannot really achieve happiness in isolation, or through things, but only in relation to others. "We are happy" supersedes "I am happy".
It is easy in this modern world to become unhinged by the complex forces at play in our lives, and to become preoccupied with the static these forces produce. One bad moment, or day, initiates an eddy current that affects the moments and days that follow, if we allow it to be so. April 15, for example, is not a favorite day of mine. In and of itself I have no hard feelings for the day. It is, I suppose, a day like most others. Yet, because this day is associated by me, and I would imagine some number of you, with the filing of taxes and the sending of a check, it has come to be an ugly day, circled in red on the calendar. I find myself, by degrees, fretting as this day approaches, as I wait for what I am sure will be bad news from my accountant. Then, once the day has passed, I grump about the size of the check recently sent, and whether my hard earned money will go towards meaningful things. Knowing such helps it sting just a little less, or so I am inclined to believe.
I will not pretend to be "happy" about paying taxes. I use this example to make a finer point. We are subject to a great many things over which we likely have little control: taxes, bosses, colleagues, neighbors, government initiatives, global markets, traffic, parking at Amigo, whether people heat fish in the microwave at work, etc. We choose to be happy, in spite of our conditions and stresses, or we choose to be unhappy. This is not to suggest that we should take a Bobby McFerrin, Don't Worry, Be Happy approach to life. This does not mean we should accept all things as they are. But happiness is an attitude. It is altogether healthier to have a little perspective, to let some things go, to choose the battles you fight with care, and to take stock in the things that matter most – family and friends. You can collect for a whole lifetime the riches and toys of the world only to find yourself devoid of happiness at the end of your days. You can hate every boss, resist every change, and lament every perceived slight, or you can work to understand decisions made, seek opportunity in new things, and assume the best in others. It's up to you. Happiness is indeed a form of wisdom after all.
Extend to your children a deeper sense of happiness and they will be more resilient, more capable of coping with the winds of change and the inevitable curve balls. Grow in them the wisdom to understand what it means to live a meaningful life, and what it means to love and to give, and they will know happiness in their own lives.
See you around campus.