I am an avid outdoorsman. I hear the call of the wild. It wells up within me, an unrelenting compulsion for the next breathtaking Discovery Channel moment. I've come face-to-face with amazing creatures, all beautiful in their own way, some quite deadly. I've fought weather, white water, altitude, cold and heat. I've been up close and personal with sharks and bears.
Not once have I taken nature for granted, nor dared to let childish arrogance keep me from being prepared in unforgiving environments. I've never skimped on training. I buy high quality gear, field test it in advance, and carry redundant equipment. I study maps and histories and ecologies. I expect, prepare for, the worst, the unexpected, the failed gear, the supply shortages. I seek out expertise, shadow those who know, follow when I should, and ask questions relentlessly. There is no place in nature for hubris, for the unprepared.
The internet is also a dangerous and unpredictable environment, a virtual wilderness full of pitfalls and scary choices and dangerous predators. We often send our young into the on-line wilds ill-prepared to address the intellectual and moral complexity they will undoubtedly encounter. The average child now spends hours on-line per day in some capacity: texting, surfing, blogging. They commit their every detail, every private thought, every emotion, to ones and zeroes--a permanent record with no remorse and no consideration for developmental foibles and impulses. We hand them the technology early, keys to the car, without teaching them to drive.
The internet has revolutionized our world, democratized knowledge creation and distribution, and altered social and political patterns. I don't mean to make it bad. Besides, it's here to stay. Most of us rely on the web every day for a whole range of useful activities and supports. There is a lot of good stuff out there in cyber space. There just also happens to be a lot of adult stuff, good and bad, access to which needs to be effectively managed as our children grow towards their understanding of the same.
Children need a road map. They don't know what they don't know, and they see all adults as authority figures. Their curiosity will naturally draw them towards those things that we adults make taboo, towards those choices that make them feel adult, towards their biological and social urgings. Our job is to help them manage their curiosity and to make sound personal and ethical choices while on-line.
A good place to start is developmentally appropriate time limits and guided surfing, especially for small children. Parental controls help, but cannot replace you and the time you spend supporting your child's understanding of content. Let's face it, the internet is a rabbit hole, easy to go down but hard to climb out of. One thing leads to another and, the next thing you know, an hour has passed. Help them manage their on-line habits. If they happen upon inappropriate content, talk with them about it, and about how to avoid similar material in the future...and leave your emotions aside.
When your children are younger, say elementary thru early middle school, you need to monitor their on-line activities. Social blogging is really something for older children. On-line access should be out in public space, not in private spaces like bedrooms where, in anonymity, it's easy to make bad choices on a whim. A good rule of thumb is check-in times for phones and tablets and other connected devices. Your children can leave these technologies in your bedroom at bedtime or whatever time you decide is most appropriate for your family. They will gripe, but you can sleep well knowing they're sleeping too.
As children get older, we need to give them space to grow and try on adulthood. A crucial first step is to set clear family expectations for on-line activity: subject matter, destinations, on-line behavior, etc. For example, teach your children to be wary of posting personal information on-line, or posting pictures in open forums. Caution them against words and thoughts typed in anger or sadness while in cyberspace. Challenge your children to use appropriate language when blogging, and to avoid the kind of conversations that can haunt them later. If they wouldn't say those words at home, in front of mom and dad, maybe they shouldn't say them at all. Don't bother with parental controls for teens, they know how to get around them anyway. Instead, communicate trust and support trust-building. Trust, as we say in the military, but verify. If your child dives at their phone every time you touch it, or always has an empty browser history, it's time to talk.
Finally, promote positive on-line behaviors when you are together. Resist the temptation to use technology as a distraction, as a surrogate for child care. Put the phone down. Talk with each other at the dinner table. Leave the texting and emails and blogging for another time. Validate a life of interconnectedness, human interconnectedness, which needs no Wi-Fi connection and is not a slave to download speeds or streaming content.
See you around campus.
Related article from the New York Times: "Many Children Under 5 Are Left to Their Mobile Devices, Survey Finds" by Catherine Saint Louis